Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
