the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
