Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
