i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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