she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
