I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
