My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
