i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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