I hate your face
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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