i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
