from now on my penis is your penis
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
