so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
