His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
