I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
