he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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