I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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