i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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