I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You're breaking my sexual little heart
how drunk are you?
Several
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
