oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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