No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
