non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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