The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
