yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
