Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just google imaged poop.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
