if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
