In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
