So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
