I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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