I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
