My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
