i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
