All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
