I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
