Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
