Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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