too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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