Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
