I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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