Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
