i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
