I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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