What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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