Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
