The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
