I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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