It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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