i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
