So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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