In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
