yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
