Don't you send me to vm
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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