More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
