I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
