I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
